Cosmic Curiosity and Bloody Feathers

Days Walking - 134

I spoke to Church on the phone - the first thing she said to me was: "You're not coming back, are you?"

"What?" I said. "Why do you say that?"
Apparently I say "Hello" very suspiciously.

The other night, as I entered Dad's hospital room - standing there in the doorway with my stomach flip-flopping, I was nervous. It had been months since I'd seen him, and he'd been through a lot, and I didn't know what I would see, and how I would react to it.

I didn't want to start crying - that would make him worry, and he doesn't need that stress. He needs to get better and live forever, or at least until I can introduce him to his Great-Grandchildren.

My brother nudged me, and I realized I was hanging in the doorway. I moved into the room and caught a glimpse of Dad. He looked so tired and pale. Wrung out. He'd lost weight, and he looked older for it. And his hair has begun to gray.

I managed not to cry, right then anyway. He looked more vulnerable than I've ever seen him, and it was that moment that I knew. I wasn't going to fly almost four thousand miles back to Ack, hike off into the middle of nowhere, and have my Dad pass away while I'm powerless to stop it, or even to say goodbye. To squeeze his hand and demand that he snap the f*ck out of it and get up and LIVE, DAMMIT.

So I'm not going back to Alaska. I had every intention of going back, as I packed my crap and boarded the plane in Fairbanks, during the flight, as I got off the plane in Los Angeles, on my way to the hospital with my brother, as we parked at the hospital, into the door, up the elevator, and down the hall. There was no doubt in my mind that I'd return to the hike.

Does it make sense to say - I'm very disappointed by my decision. I've spent a lot of time, effort and money planning the trip and making it happen. I quit my job, sold my car, sold all my furniture, and broke up with my boyfriend. I completely up-ended my life. And while every day on the hike was not always fun, I was glad to be there.

There was so much I wanted to do and see, and people I wanted to meet. So much to learn and experience, and I'm going to give up this easily? And if Dad had been sick a year ago, would I have ever gone? I don't think so.

It's not Dad's fault. I don't want him to feel guilty. It's not like he's weighing me down. I'm weighing me down. When I left, everything was fine, all my ducks were in a row. And I turn my back for a bit, and the ducks are going apeshit and killing one another, blood and feathers everywhere. I don't want to come home in five years to a pile of bloody feathers and dead ducks.

I've come to realize what my priorities truly are. I want my family preserved, whole and healthy. I know Dad will pass away someday, and living in Los Angeles is not going to change that. But at least here I can be useful.

If Dad and Joann stay together and get married, my role in his life will change. I used to pester him to eat better, take his vitamins, all that motherly crap, and that's gonna be her job - or it is already. I might be exaggerating my role in his life at this point. I can't nurse him like I could before. But I can be here, on call.

Which is how it has to be. Because there's no way I'm going to get a call while 300 miles from civilization, to find out he's dead. He's gonna live a long time, and I'm gonna be here to enforce that.

Meanwhile, in Ack - Church, Adrian, Caeled, and Kwame are still deciding what they want to do. From our talk last night, I'm making an educated guess that they'll opt for heading home. I wonder what would have happened if Gabe hadn't hurt his knee? I'm not saying all this is his fault, just cosmic curiosity.

I won't be blogging much for a while. I've got to start updating my resume, looking for a job, and all that other fun stuff that life in the civilized world demands. I'll probably start a new blog, since this is meant to be the hiking chronicle, not the 9-5 regular life borefest.

I'm worried that all of you will be disappointed in me. Your words and thoughts really matter. I know you guys have been pulling for all of us on this journey, and I love you for it. Thanks so much to all of you - for your encouragement, caring wishes, sincere thoughtfulness, helpful suggestions, interested questions, and blessed comic relief.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Hot Oatmeal Dogs?

Days Walking - 133

We brought Dad home from the hospital yesterday. It was good to have him there, to help dispell the creepy morbid thoughts that were lingering during my solo visit.

Joann's been a big help and she's a cool lady. I have a strong feeling she'll be around for a while, which is cool because she's good for Dad.

We're going grocery shopping now, cause damn there's nothing left to eat in this house except hot dogs and oatmeal.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Going home today

Days Walking - 132

Dad's doing much better, and it looks like they'll be letting him go home from the hospital today. It seems that the whole low blood pressure thing was the result of an unforeseen drug interaction between a few prescription drugs he's taking.

Which is good to hear since low blood pressure is apparently one of the symptoms of advanced diabetes, and I was hoping we weren't to that stage yet.

It's a scary stage, where wounds don't heal, your eyes crust over, and lots of other unpleasantness. At least prescriptions can be modified, swapped out for other drugs without said interaction, and so on.

My brother's looking for someone to blame, since the docs should have been more careful in their prescribing, but the docs only know what you tell them. It's very possible Dad forgot to mention everything he's taking. And even if he did, how to prove that? I'm just glad he's doing better, and that it's something readily remedied.

It was really great to see Dad again, and be able to give him a hug after months of only hearing his voice. He looks like he's aged five years since I've been gone. I've only been away like five months, so that's kinda scary. He's lost some weight because his diet has improved since the whole diabetes thing, and he's got some gray hair at his temples, which he never did before.

It's really weird to be back in Los Angeles. I had to go home to feed Maleficent (my cat) and going back into the house with no one else there was very odd. It felt almost as if Dad had passed away, and I had come back from some distant life - with job, family, etc - to hear The Will read and see him buried. It was really a creepy feeling.

Thanks so much, all of you thoughtful, caring folks who sent positive energies our way.

It's much appreciated and reciprocated! Big hugs for all!

Litany Webb, signing off

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Stable and under observation

Days Walking - 131

I'm in Los Angeles, Dad is still in the hospital but he seems ok for now. They're still waiting for some test results.

Thanks for all your kind well-wishes, you guys are great friends!




Litany Webb, signing off

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I have to fly home

Days Walking - 130

Dad's in the hospital again, he had a bad dizzy spell, almost fell down the stairs. He's got low blood pressure, whatever that means. They're not sure what's wrong with him.

I'm getting on a plane to Los Angeles.



Litany Webb, signing off

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A Little Antifreeze In Her Coke...

Days Walking - 129

It turns out - the guy at work who dumped his load of flyers and disappeared the other day didn't just up and quit in the midst of his shift. The story is conflicted, but it seems that he was jumped by either some hoodlums or the police. More on this story as it develops...

Hank - Hello! No, I'm not gonna change the header from "8 People" to "5 People". This here is the chronicle of eight people and what happens to them, and I think it still applies.

Kato and Sharon - I've passed your well-wishes on to Jake and Anneli, who said "Thanks!"

Jake and Anneli arrived safely. Anneli used one terse word to describe El Paso - "Brown". I admit, it would be hard to leave the beauty of Ack for the desert blandness of the southwest. She grew up in New England, so she's accustomed to green, growing things everywhere. And geese, apparently? Her descriptions seemed very E.B. White.

Over some yummy hard lemonade, Kwame tried to seduce me last night. I don't know how to feel about it. The guy is a full-on player, which is fine since I know it already and can take his flirting as what it is and not let it lead me to believe he has any real interest in me, beyond the carnal.

Carnal interests are something I really and completely understand, but there are lots of cuter gals in Fairbanks. And he won't have to wake up next to them for the next five to eight years if it didn't work out.

We were in the freaking wilderness for months, and he never made any kind of move. I think that it was just convenience, last night. He was there, I was there, everybody else was in town, and a little snogging never hurt nobody.

We kissed for all of five seconds before I asked him to stop.

It would take more than three bottles of hard lemonade for me to make that mistake. If we were both players, if I could have an affair with someone and just be friends with them, it would work. But I can't. I fall really fast and far and then I pay for it with many, many tears later. I usually get some good poetry out of it though...

(Psst - Kwame is a very very good kisser. Oh my.)

So what will I do if Church hooks up with one of the guys? I'll be the last unclaimed female. It'll be like 2nd Grade Dodgeball all over again, and who wants to repeat that kind of memory? I think I'm more approachable than she is. But she's blonde. And she has bigger boobs, and we all know how the menfolk feel about those. Bastards.

I have a raw spot on my wrist where the rubberbands live during the daily flyer-stuffing extravaganza (shows at 11 and 2). It's an unhappy looking owie, and Church treated me and griped at me, and said "Don't do that anymore." I don't know if she means the rubberbands or the job. Either way, I agree!

Now that our three departing hiking pals are gone, we can start calculations to actually discover how much we'll need to set out for the next town. Caeled really needs a new pack. The one he's been using was used to begin with, and wasn't that great when it was new, I fear. And you can spend from $150 to $800 and up on a pack. I'm gonna guess that the type he'll need will run like $200 easy.

With Jake, Anneli and Gabe gone, we have unprecedented tent space! We have four tents and five people, so we get to spend more nights alone. Now we need to decide if we want to carry four tents for five people. Or hell, buy one more and everyone is happy. Gotta carry it though, gotta carry it.

Damn! Some guy just came up to camp and started hitting on Church! Am I not sitting right here? I bathed! I smell like kiwi-strawberry body wash, bitch! Am I not lithe and quirky, overflowing with witty personality? I can chat the chat, you betcha. Better'n her, any day. Talk to me, you assh*le.

I'll have to poison her breakfast, that's all.

Litany Webb, signing off

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And Then There Were 5

Days Walking - 128

Jake and Anneli fly to Texas in the morning. I was going to say "flying home", but it's not home for her yet. Having a baby is going to be a huge, life-changing thing for both of them.

Especially since they've never really lived together before. From this wacky, atypical environment, they'll be thrust into the world of 9-5 bullshit, traffic, laundry, and work. I hope it all works out for them.

I think if I were Anneli, I would insist on going home - her home that is, in Maine. I'd want my own family around me as a support group, because I doubt that pregnancy is a state in which you're likely to endear yourself to a new group of people. If reading Dooce has taught me anything, it's that pregnancy is gonna be a bitch, and so will I.

Their flight leaves at like 5AM, but the Yellow Line bus, she no run that early. So they spent the night in the terminal. We caught the last bus, which dropped them at the airport at like 11:45PM, and rode back to the depot with the nice driver who wasn't supposed to let us.

We said our final goodbyes on the bus, which is a weird place to offer someone a fond farewell. I mean, you tell people goodbye at the airport, the bus station, the train station - but not on a bus.

The departure hubs have high ceilings and marble and brushed brass and they echo. There's the hustle and bustle and people cheering and crying. There's a sense of occasion.

A bus is so casual, so plebeian. It kinda saps the depth of feeling when you're spilling your heartfelt wishes and misses, and the driver's calling out the streets as you pass them.

Maybe it would have been better to not say goodbye on the bus then? Would the bus stop been any better? I don't know. I like to go as far as I can to see my loved ones off safely. I've been known to walk my Dad down to the car in the mornings, just to make sure he's got his lunch and bag and keys and suchlike. Yeah I've got dependency issues.

It was hard to see them go, but easier than it was with Gabe. He left due to an injury, and they left for love and family. So the whole angry, bitter vibe that Gabe's departure had wasn't there for Jake and Anneli's departure.

And we've decided to make sure our hiking path takes us through El Paso, so we can meet up with these two lovebirds and meet the baby. They leave now two kick ass nomad hikers, and when we see them again they'll be kick ass parents. How weird that's gonna be.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Oh She's Workin All Right...

Days Walking - 127

Hmn, Kato - I'll have to get some Font Gnome repellant on the way home from work tomorrow. Dratted little critters! You know, if they'd just ask, I'd be happy to give up at least half of my fonts.

Speaking of fonts, it's odd how my taste for fonts changes. For a couple of years, I was all about Times New Roman and wouldn't use anything else. Then it was Courier New. Right now it's Verdana. Am I the only one with weird font preferences? Not that Verdana is weird, I think it's very clean and crisp.

Caeled was able to get my fonts back for me. In the end, he removed all the TTF files from the font folder, and then returned them. Now it works fine. Wacky!

I got Caeled a job!
It's a good thing too, cause he had no prospects and I suspect he was spending his days chillin at the library. The flyer place where I work needed a new techie, and I recommended Caeled highly (and recommendations from migrant flyer-stuffing laborers weighs weightily) and they asked him a few questions and he got the job.

It seems their last IT guy up and quit, and meanwhile all their systems are choked with spyware. Ha ha I think that's some delicious irony there. I told him not to make the fixes look too easy, or he'd be out of a job.

It has always boggled me how people will shirk any job, no matter how easy it is. Doug - one of the dumb*ss guys at my work - got fired today because instead of rubber-banding the flyers to doorknobs, he threw his entire payload into a bush like two blocks from our distribution center.

Management has these pickups that they troll around in, making sure we're out and about and doing our thing as directed. The wind was blowing the flyers out of the bush and across the street, right in front of one such manager as he sat at a red light. Busted!

I mean, this job is dull and mindless, but that describes most jobs. We can listen to music, and we're outside, and Fairbanks is a very pretty town! What's the problem, dude? Maybe this was just one minimum wage job too many for him, and he didn't care any more. The other guys said he'd worked here for like three months.

I guess if this job was all I had to look forward to, I might quit too. Since I know it's just for a few weeks, I can hack it. I mean, if you're going to quit, at least say so before you get all loaded up and trudge off into the world. Say "I quit. Sorry. Can't do it no more." and navigate your ass to Monster.com. It's not hard.

Now Church needs to get her butt in gear and get a job of some sort. (She's completely opposed to flyer-stuffing) Although, if she did, there would be no one to guard our campsite, and I have to admit, it's well worth it to me to know she's there.

She's freakishly careful, and I know for a fact that all my goodies will be intact, not on fire, and waiting for me when I get back to camp - (barring a natural disaster). So maybe that can be her job, watching the crap. She's gotta be bored out of her mind, but she deals with it pretty well.

...Or mebbe Church IS working, and we just don't know it. Mebbe she's getting her freak on with other campers for cash. They do seem very friendly towards her... Hmn, especially that one attractive, older guy with the very snazzy RV.

He's all "Hey Church." and she's all "Hey Tim." Uh huh. I think that's pretty suspicious right there. That's no friendly greeting, they're plotting their next tryst! I need to set up a webcam to watch the camp and see what she's up to while we're all working...

Litany Webb, signing off

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Win Ben Stein's Bunny

Days Walking - 126

Thanks for the additional book recomendations, y'all! I'll probably finish these two within the next couple of days, so your books are likely to be tracked down and devoured.

Jake and Anneli have made their decision. They're quitting the team and heading down to Texas, where they'll be staying with Jake's family. Until they get on their feet, that is. One of his uncles has a position lined up for him, it seems. It's a factory position, but hey it's something. Jake's fortunate to be heading home with a job waiting.

Going home with a bun in the oven! I wonder how Jake's family will react to a pregnant daughter-in-law whom they've never met? They seem like cool people, from the way he's described them, so it should be ok. I don't envy Anneli that first day, meeting everyone and trying to make a good impression. She's spoken to his Mom and Dad on the phone, so she won't be meeting them completely out of the blue.

They'll be catching a plane on Wednesay, and there's that, two more people gone. Insert big sigh here. Why do they get to go? Just because she got knocked up. Hell, I could have done that. Or I could have royally f*cked up my knee, and "see ya guys!" I could be at home with my Dad and my kitty and my friends and my pink patchwork comforter my Aunt Laura made for me when I was a baby. Bastards and their excuses.

Caeled (our computer expert) has been trying to figure out what's wrong with my laptop - yesterday I had a couple dozen fonts, and today, all I have is 'Arial'. How weird is that? Where would the fonts go? Who would steal fonts? Very weird. When you look in the control panel, 'fonts' folder they're all there. Why can't I use them in a document? Hmm.

Considering the amount of cranking necessary to use the laptop and time and effort to keep it clean and functional out in the wild, I'm considering shipping it home. I'd like to reduce the amount of heavy crap that I'm carrying, and all the assorted stuff for the laptop, its batteries, power supply, discs, DVDs, on and on, I just don't know if it's worth it anymore.

I've managed to ween myself from television, so internet access seems the next vice to quash. Caeled would be keeping his laptop, so if we needed to look up an emergency first-aid factoid (not that you aren't brilliant, Ms. Church), we could still do that. I don't know if I wanna lug this stuff any more. I need to thoroughly mull the idea and its repurcussions.

Maybe I would finally get some writing done if I wasn't distracted by The Web. It's so easy to get carried from one page to another, willy nilly, without end. It's almost like the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon thing - each page always makes me think about someone or something else, so I'll stay on 'Just another five minutes' which turns into hours of mindless clicking.

Ok, it's not exactly mindless and I do learn interesting facts, but to what use? I am a treasure trove of useless information, and short of going on a game show, I don't know what good it would do me.

Speaking of game shows, I phone-tested for 'Win Ben Stein's Money' years ago, back when it was still in production. I passed, (it was surprisingly easy) and they wanted me to come down for the in-person tests. Of course, I was too young to qualify at that time, so I never went. I've always liked Ben Stein though, I have a thing for smart and funny guys. Plus he looks like he'd be ticklish.

Litany Webb, signing off

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New Books For To Read!

Days Walking - 125

I finally got some new books! Per excellent reader recommendations, I picked up ‘White Oleander’ by Janet Fitch, and ‘Magician’ by Raymond Feist - (they didn’t have "Magician: Apprentice", I so settled for this one). Heather - I couldn’t find the books you recommended, though I looked! It was a used bookstore, so variety was limited.

I’ve just started White Oleander, and so far it’s good. We traded in our old books and actually have a smidgen of credit left, which we will spend long before we depart Fairbanks, I’m sure.

Eric - I haven't given up on finding a better job, but this one does have its benefits - I get paid weekly, in cash - and it keeps me in shape for the next leg of the hike. If something better comes along, I'll take it, but I don't want to waste time looking when I could be earning/saving.

Sharon - Not sure how long we'll be in town. Another few weeks, it seems. And how did we figure out how much money we'd need to get us this far? Anneli had a formula she wrote to help calculate it, and I'm not joking.

As for how much we'll need before we leave again, it all depends on Jake and Anneli at this point. I think they've decided to keep the baby, so now it's just a matter of when they'll leave. But this is just gossip - they've yet to tell us their plans in detail. They need to do that, and soon. But we've been trying not to pressure them.

I was off today which is cool. It’s nice to have nowhere to be, be able to veg. But instead of just sitting around, I ventured out into Fairbanks alone, to find some nook to sit and people-watch. There are more tourists than I expected, but I guess it’s practically summer.

I was walking past a bar around noon and two guys came spilling out, in the midst of a fight. I managed to avoid getting tangled up, which was a good thing because they were getting really viscious. That’s why you should drink at home with friends!

I borrowed a couple of DVDs from a guy at work (Hi Daniel!) and so last night we enjoyed ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ and ‘Blue Velvet‘. Funky movies, both of them.

I love DVDs, they’re so tiny. VHS tapes were just so clunky! And movie media are just gonna keep getting smaller - look at the Sony PSP discs, which have movies on them now. I wonder if Sony DVD players will one day be able to play PSP media?

I’m gonna be sharing music with the peeps at work, so when we leave Fairbanks, I should have a decent sized new music library. It’s odd, but at least half of the guys at work are huge Country fans.

I guess it’s my fault for assuming, but I never pictured Ack as a base of Country music fandom. I’m not really into country, though some of it is fun. I prefer the funny songs to the woe-is-me-songs.

Gabe’s absence has resulted in greater spaciousness at the campsite. We’re rotating through, and everyone is getting one night alone in their very own personal tent. Tonight will be my night, and it’s gonna be sweet! The Freedom! The Scratching! I can’t wait!

Litany Webb, signing off

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Christian Bale is HOT

Days Walking - 124

Gabe emailed to say he arrived safely, and he's going to see Spamalot this weekend. What a tease. Can't believe I miss him.

I got paid! I know it's odd to get paid after working for only like four days of work. My question is, who pays their people in cash? And I have no pay stub indicating how much tax was sent to Uncle Sam. You don't mean... But they... What about social security?

So yeah, it seems that we're all getting paid Under The Table, which is a weird phrase because Frank (bossman) handed me an envelope, and it never came near a table, under or otherwise.

Ok - in lieu of sanctioned taxes, there is the hungry behemoth at work in the guise of your friendly neighborhood vending machine. The thing is filled to the brim with wicked cream-filled goodness, and since we working peeps walk all day, we are drawn to this devil ex machina.

But who has money? No problem, cause Frank will keep a tab for you. He's so thoughtful. And it comes out of your 'check' automatically. I can personally testify that getting sugar on credit is the road to ruin, and I'm gonna need to stop indulging if we're ever gonna earn any money and leave this burg.

Living at the campsite is okay. It's certainly the cheapest dwelling I have ever rented - a basic apartment in Los Angeles goes for $1200 a month, easily. The campsite will come out to $450 a month, which isn't bad in comparison.

Right now only three of us have jobs, and the rest of these mofo's need to get their butts in gear. It's so easy to spend on fun goodies after being on the road for so long, but we've gotta keep our eyes on the goal here!

I'm so fed up with our music library, I could just toss my iPod into the nearest bush. I can listen to it while I'm working, which is cool, but who wants to? I've heard these songs so damn many times, I can just imagine them playing - no batteries needed!

Songs get old so quick, and I really don't have the patience for listening to the radio - there's just so much repetition. The trouble with listening to music is that you always need more. It's almost a drug. You're slapping that vein and saying "I need new tunes!" like once a week.

And even new songs are just thinly disguised recycled tidbits from old songs. I think being a musician would be frustrating, since it seems there is so little innovation. You could make the same argument for writing, I know. Maybe I'll just join the Cult of Classical, and ignore any musician or writer who hasn't been dead for 500 years...

Litany Webb, signing off

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Grief'in...On a Jet Plane

Days Walking - 123

I was up and wide awake very early today (4:35am!) for whatever reason, maybe I was afraid of oversleeping. It's been raining on and off all morning, Ack is crying for Gabe's departure and this is fitting.

I went out and let myself get rained on. Everything was very quiet, all I could hear was the rain. It was a soothing, meaningful experience somehow. After I dried off, I scribbled out a new poem that might actually be halfways decent after some editing. I'll try to remember to post it, if it's ever worthy.

One thing I noticed about being up so early is, I still have not gotten around to getting some new books to read. I think I spotted a used bookstore, now I just have to remember where it was, once payday comes. I jotted down the suggestions you guys made - a few weeks ago was it? - and will be looking for those.

We went out to breakfast and then took the bus to the airport to drop off Gabe for his flight home. Despite all the caffeine, we were a pretty depressed bunch. You want your last meal together to be upbeat, but it's hard.

Good grief! Did you know it's like $600 to fly from Fairbanks to New York? One way! There's two very depressing words, 'one way'. Unless you're escaping from your miserable life where your husband beats you nightly and you head down to the train station and get your 'Destination Anywhere' going on. Then 'one way' has a note of righteous escape from a difficult situation.

We couldn't really dawdle at the airport, cause a few of us have jobs now, so it was painfully brief in more ways than one. Everybody cried at some point. Church got it out of the way during breakfast, and was dry-eyed later while the rest of us were all blubbering like fools. The guys tried to do their muy macho back slap, take care buddy bullsh*t but they were wiping their eyes too.

Gabe is a good solid guy and I know I've had issues with him in the past, (mostly my fault, stupid stuff, because I was being bitchy) but he was a solid member of the team and it really f*cking blows that he has to leave. At least he's leaving with all of his fingers, toes, and limbs - one of us could have been seriously hurt, and much worse than a knee injury. We've been very fortunate, lucky, and blessed.

You'd think that a job like mine would be hampered by the rain, but that's not how my boss see's it. I'm glad I packed well, for all weather conditions. But to protect the flyers, they give you this one-ply disposable poncho thing, which might as well be a garbage bag for how easily it tears.

So I slogged along in the rain, and the flyers were limp and pathetic. I wonder if the ink should happen to run and ruined someone's pretty door, could they sue the flyer company? I'll bet they could.

I'm just glad we weren't given a huge stack of little flyer condoms - like the little plastic jumper they put on newspapers - and have to sit there for hours creating individually wrapped pieces of junkmail that no one will ever read.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Ack, You Crack Me Up

Days Walking - 122

Share a sad sigh with me, Brothers and Sisters…

Gabe has received his plane ticket and leaves for the far far-away land of New York tomorrow. I didn’t know until I got back to camp after a long day of flyer stuffing.

Talk about coming home from work to bad news. I work and slave all day and I come home to no dinner and you’re in our bed, boffing the exterminator?? She’s all gross and stinky with rat poison, and you’re all up in there?

It’s a sad day and it helps that we‘re silly people.

Until today, we’d been avoiding talking about Gabe’s inevitable departure, instead we kinda pretended that it wasn’t going to be necessary, that he’d wake up one morning and feel better and the whole thing would work itself out.

So now we were forced to talk about how much we were gonna miss him, and how important he was to us, and we laughed and joked and remembered the stupid funny stuff and cried in the end, because deciding to go home is one thing, and this is another.

Sharon - I agree that if Gabe really wants to rejoin us, he’ll likely be able to. I know that surgeons have the mad skills nowadays, but I worry. We probably won’t know what to expect from Gabe for a month or two, until physical therapy is done.

We’re all gonna take Gabe out to an early breakfast tomorrow and celebrate our achievements, and then take him to the airport. I miss being able to walk people to the gate. In my family, we walked a person to the gate and waited with them and watched them board and waited till the plane took off and waved to the plane. I miss that. I know we’ll all miss Gabe.

Um.

Oh Ack, you so funny. Get a load of this crazyness - this eagle totally plowed through a guy’s window, into the house, left feathers everywhere, and escaped - but lost his fish. I know we’re in Fairbanks and all, but I still think that the Juneau Empire is da bomb Ackian periodical, yo.

Kato - I hear ya, it sucks when quality shows aren’t playing for whatever reason - but isn’t 'Connections' available on DVD? Get your Netflix on, son! Hell, buy the boxed set! Ha Ha that’s when you know it’s bad, when you’re buying PBS DVDs. I have to admit, I seriously considered getting '1900’s House' on DVD at one point.

Surely I’m not alone in my geekitude - Do you guys have any guilty pleasure shows?

Litany Webb, signing off

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Outsource THIS

Days Walking - 121

Eric - You're right about the job outsourcing thing. My friends in Los Angeles are in constant fear of losing their jobs, especially to India. The British just HAD to conquer them and teach them excellent English, didn't they?

There's a Connection for ya, Mister Burke! "How the British Occupation of India during the 18th Century led to the utter downfall of economic stability in the western hemisphere in 2007."

The scary thing is, jobs that can't be outsourced (and a great majority can) will one day be done by robots. My job could easily be done by a remote controlled car with a little robot arm on top, pulling a little wagon full of flyers.

I wonder if paper junk mail will one day cease to be, and it'll all be online ads and spam. Since you can pay all your bills online now, there's really little reason to ever go to your mailbox.

Heather - How long do I plan on working? As short a time as possible! Isn't that true for everyone? Not that I mind work, I appreciate putting in hours and accomplishing something, and going home at the end of the day feeling like I did a good job, proud of my work ethic and all that BS.

And of course, annoying people with flyers gives me a great sense of job satisfaction.

As for what our target funds level is - not sure yet. We're still figuring out what equipment can be repaired and what needs replacing, and if we leave Fairbanks with 5 people instead of 8, that changes the amount of food and other supplies we'll need.

The insect problem was getting pretty heinous the last few weeks of the hike. Caeled is all about complete coverage of his person, including duct taping at wrists and ankles. Shudder.

I can't even consider such a thing. I get claustrophobic just thinking about it. I would feel a little trickle of sweat run down my face and I wouldn't be able to see it or scratch it and I would think there was a bug inside my clothes and I couldn't get it, and I'd end up flailing on the ground, shrieking and clawing at my extremities. No thanks.

Adrian got a job giving out samples for some Thai place. If there is a worse job than sticking little bits of food on toothpicks and trying to convince people to eat it, I don't want to know about it. I'd much rather muck out stables. At least there would be horses to pat-pat.

Mmmn, Red Curry Chicken and Thai Noodles... (insert Homer salivating sound here...) Good thing I'm still walking all day every day - I'd gain ten pounds a week with all this food.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Wessstiiiiiidde!

Days Walking - 120

Holy Cow, I find myself suddenly gainfully employed. Whee! I am happy to be contributing to the group. Minimum Wage Baby!

Today was my first day, and I'll be getting paid weekly. It's a good thing too, the camp site charges us $15 per day for occupancy, which is not freakishly high, but it adds up. Kwame provides daily food now, which will greatly help fundage saving abilities. Once we manage to start saving, that is. Kwame's pizza place also does chicken wings, so we are not destined to one day hate pizza.

Kthrne - I'm happy to hear that your posts are not lost forever... Of course, if someone chooses to delete their own stuff, well who better to judge? It was just jarring - like arriving at a restaurant you enjoy frequenting, only to discover the walls are missing and most of the tables are gone. You're like "Whaaaa??"

Robin - I can appreciate the need for a private journal, I do look back at these posts sometimes and cringe. So far, I have resisted the urge to delete stuff, but I feel ya!

Oh, what job did I get? I'm leery to mention it, because I have taken a job that performs a function that no one appreciates. I'm not cheerful about my function, but it will help me to keep in shape while we put together the funds for more supplies, replace some gear, and make some difficult decisions. So far only Kwame and myself have jobs, the other peeps are looking, but no luck yet.

Since I really had no phone number to put on my job applications, I was reduced to just stopping by and saying "Hey, remember me, that girl who's lookin for work?" At this morning's second stop, they were like "Yeah we remember you - Can you lift fifty pounds?"

Hell, my pack weighs like 500 pounds. I told them as much. I got the job after a demonstration of my manly strength. The guy said: "All right then, you can have the job if you can start right now."

"Bring it." I should have said. I think it was, "Um, Ok."

All right, you've been patient. My job. Ummm. You know how you get up in the morning, you're late for work, and you're bustling out the door with your purse and work bag and your little tupperware lunch container and your keys and the movies to be returned to Blockbuster and you hurry outside and try to lock the door...

And there's some crummy flyer from some random retail business rubber-banded to your doorknob? And you mutter a few curse words and yank the stupid flyer off and toss it inside on the floor by the front door (cause you don't wanna litter your outside doorway) and grumble about how stinkin spam is everywhere?

Well if you live on the west side of Fairbanks, you can thank me for the stinkin stupid flyer on your doorknob. You should have seen me when I left the Stupid Flyer Depot this morning. They give you this industrial-strength apron thing with all these pockets and they load you up like you're a freakin pack mule. I didn't get to weigh this sh*t, but I swear it totaled a hundred pounds easy. But it's distributed front and back, so that helps.

Until you imbalance yourself because it's easier to reach the ones in front and next thing you know you have an awful backache without knowing why, and then you realize you're straining just to keep upright, and it's your own fault. I'm not whining, I'm just describing how it was.

Today I spent all day rubber-banding flyers for 'You're Special Flowers & Gifts' onto unsuspecting people's doorknobs. They seem to be a snazzy shop with very nice gift baskets. I murmured a little prayer for each flyer delivered, "I'm sorry for the litter, but maybe you'll actually find this useful."

Actually, that's how the mantra started out. By midday, it was "Sorry." without any true repentance. And by late afternoon, it was "Ugnh." Yes by that point I was grunting in apology.

I got lost coming back and came close to being eaten by several supposedly tame dogs.

I ran out of rubber bands about lunchtime, (they were cheap and a good third of them snapped when I tried to use em) and ended up just sticking the flyer into the crevice between door and frame. Which is even more annoying for the resident, I know.

Ugnh.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Post-Partum Deletion

Days Walking - 119

Robin - Thanks for the well-wishes! With as many job applications as I put in, someone's gotta be interested. I tried to present myself as a hard-working, intelligent person willing to go the extra mile and all that crap... We'll see.

As for Gabe rejoining us, I'm all for that.
I don't know where we'll be when he's ready - After the surgery, he'll need physical therapy, and we won't know till after that's over if he can manage to hike on his knee all day every day for years on end. The man's hiking days may well be over. Unless they give him a bionic leg. That would be super cool.

Reading Kthrne's delightful blog the other day, I was sad to see she'd gone through and deleted a bunch of posts. Obviously it's her realm and her word is law, but I miss those old posts.

Sometimes I go back and re-read old posts that I remember fondly - and what isn't to like about Kthrne's blog? Erotic art, The Love of The One True Shatner, Economics, Mouthless Flesh Gnawers, I could go on and on!

Some bloggers are wont to delete stuff (Robin!) and I guess I'll just have to start saving them as text documents, so that years later, I can peruse them and grin, and remember a time when Kato wasn't an International Pop Sensation.

My own personal view on deleting old posts is Bad Idea. We all get moody sometimes and look at what we've written and say "Yuck." I had a journal in seventh grade that I wrote in every day, I was completely honest and open and frank with myself.

Then we moved and I lost the journal for like a year. And when I found it again and read it, I couldn't stand how much I'd changed. I seemed so naive on those pages, from the immense perspective of just one year. I burned it in this ancient incinerator in our back yard, which probably hadn't been used in forty years and smoked so bad, the neighbor called the fire department.

(You would not believe how much trouble I got into for lighting up that incinerator. I mean, it's not like I was roasting kittens over a gasoline-filled coffee can or something. Apparently using an appliance built of cement and brick designed expressly for burning refuse is the wrong thing to do. I got a talking to from the neighbor, from the firemen, and from Dad.)

I look back now and I'm sorry I burned the journal, because as poorly written and naive and babbly a thing it had been, (not high-brow or classy like my current writing) it was a snapshot of me at that moment, in that time of my life, and I'll never get it back again.

What could that journal teach me now, what have I lost, what insight would I now be able to wring out of the pages that I was oblivious to when I scribbled my hasty, heartfelt words?

So deleted posts make me sad, even when they're not mine. I'd say if there was one lost item from my youth (yeah yeah I'm still a kid, ptthppp whatever) it would be that journal.

What would you guys reclaim from your youth?
Hmmmn?

Litany Webb, signing off

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Scary Undead Grandma Church

Days Walking - 118

Not a fun day today.

Gabe got some hard news - it turns out, he can get his knee operation, but only if the procedure is performed within his parent’s local insurance network, by a doctor in that network. Which for Gabe means New York. Since he can’t keep hiking on his knee the way it is, he’s got to go. Now it’s just a question of when.

I feel awful for him, it's one thing to make the decision to go - quite another to have it forced upon you. He hasn't set a date for the flight home yet.

I applied today for a whole bunch of jobs. Saturday isn’t the best day for such things - with the consumers out and about and a bunch of places closed for the weekend, but I did my best. I went up one side of the street and down the other, and hit every place. I hope I get a bite from one of them.

Celia - Fairbanks doesn’t really strike me as being built by drunks… I’d say it had a very organic feel to it. Lotsa curves. I can see why you might say that though! I’m just happy to be in a place where you can plop down your cash for a succulent hot chocolate.

Kwame brought us some yummy pizza, as promised. Pizza is one of the few foods I can enjoy cold as well as hot. I can eat pizza right out of the fridge. The only other cooked food I can think of that is good hot, cold, or at room temperature is fried chicken.

Hey Adrian - you should get a job at KFC!

My thumbnail is still sore, but better. It looks worse than ever, but I don’t think I’m gonna lose the nail. I lost a toenail once, after I dropped a hammer on my foot. It’s gross, but at least on your foot you can keep it covered.

Church, she of the amazing immune system, has finally caught a cold. She woke up this morning sounding like she had a frog in her throat. Her voice is all jacked up, and not in the sexy cold voice kind of way.

I mean, the scary undead grandmother kind of way. I had much fun listening to her talk. I made requests, and enjoyed the results with much enjoyment. The best was “I love you mommy”. She sounds like Tim Curry in Legend.

Litany Webb, singing off

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The Girl - In The Coffeeshop - With the Lead Pipe.

Days Walking - 117

We gave blood today! Blood's ever so important, give some thought to sharing your precious fluids!

Kwame went to work today - none of the rest of us schlubs have found employment yet. Of course, spending nearly 3 hours watching Star Wars took a big bite out of the day...

Although I did make $1 during a visit to a coffee shop! This could be the beginning of an all new career for me, and for lazy slobs like myself across the world.

Ok, here's how it went down. We got there in the morning, in the midst of a on-the-way-to-workers waiting for their caffeine fix. It's me and Church, I'm plotting to get me some hot Cocoa, and I get in line. She's just along for the wait.

When we joined the line, there was a good ten people ahead of me. So we're chatting, getting closer to the front, and Church spies a dog who's just getting tied up outside. She decides that she must go and meet said puppy.

She leaves me to go pet the doggie, who is this adorable shaggy mutt and promptly sheds all over her, but she doesn't care. She comes inside with the owner just as I'm about to be next...

And she and the puppy owner cruise on up to me:
"Hi I'm Max. Church says I can buy your place in line for a dollar?"

Church nods encouragingly at me.
"Um. Ok." I mumble.

Back to the end I go, with Church practically giggling about how cute Max is. He's ok, not all that - not my type. I think she's been out in the wilderness too long.

But the selling of the place in line was inspired. I mean, these folks are trying not to be late for work. I'm in no rush. I wonder how much I could make per day just standing in line, and selling my spot.

Of course, it depends on what the people are waiting in line for, and the time of day. Morning and evening rush hour. Somewhere like the DMV or other government offices or airport ticket counters...or maybe even coffee shops!

Perhaps it would work as a team thing - one person by the door of the establishment, outside if it's a small place, and the other person inside, in line.

Someone approaches the establishment -
"Hey Buddy, it's real crowded in there - aren't you late for work?"

"Yeah?"
"Listen, give the girl in the red shirt a dollar, she'll give you her spot."
"Really. What a great service! Thank you, mysterious stranger."
"Hey no problem."

We wouldn't have to make tons of cash, just enough to average out to minimum wage. And the tips! Don't get me started. I'd be pimpin my backpack with velvet and sequins hoo haa!.

Oh! And I need some new underwear. We did some browsing at clothing stores, and I gotta tell you, new underwear looks nice! The fabrics! The colors!

And when did this whole 'elastic' invention debut? Keen!

As I rinse my sad underthings at the spigot of the campsite, I remember the last time I saw such a sad pair of drawers - they belonged to my first boyfriend, and when I saw them, I made him throw them away. Yeah, it's time for new panties...

Litany Webb, signing off

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Dear Santa, I Would Like Lightsaber and a Wookie.

Days Walking - 116

We saw 'Revenge of the Sith' last night! Woot! I have to tell you, after months of no movie theater experiences at all, going to see a Lucasfilm really blows a person away.

The Human Race is just a collection of noisy, rude, thoughtless, crude annoying creatures, and they jostled me in line and kicked my seat and talked during the movie and wrote letters on their gigantic cell phones with ultra bright 13" screens during the intro of the movie, with the words tilting off into the distance. Ugh! Do you mind??

The movie was very yummy eye candy, and the writing was poor. Jake loved it, of course. But he's genetically predisposed to be in favor, Jake is a fan like his father before him, and all that jazz.

Psst- Santa, I think a golden colored lightsaber would be cool! It might be hard to see at times, but that is my opponent's problem, ha ha ha!

After months without tasting theater butter-flavored oily by-product, I gotta tell you, I don't know how I ever liked the stuff. It was awful! And the Coke was cloyingly sweet. What am I becoming? A health nut? No, I love Twinkies too much for that.

The sights and sounds of Fairbanks are assaulting my poor sensitive senses and was quite a lot to take in, with the cars and the buses and the laughing and the talking, everyone talking.

I half expected a migraine to be delivered to me by stork special order. Not that I get them, but I half-expected one. But no headache, just irked. Just think if I were in a big city, instead of charming Fairbanks with the trees and the nice.

I have been spoiled by quiet solitude.

Mike - We might be able to find replacements for our three before we left Fairbanks, but we don't know for sure yet what's gonna happen. We can't put out a recruitment call before they've even made their decisions..."Who's this?" - "Oh this is George, he'll be replacing you."

Kwame, smooth operator that he is, got a job washing dishes at a pizza place. Did you know that minimum wage in Ack is $7.15? It's only $6.75 in CA! Needless to say, we are tingling with anticipation for his first day, which will be tomorrow, and we're looking forward to the leftover pizza he will bring back to camp for us, oh my yes.

A large deep crust, with pepperoni, mushrooms, and olives please, thank you. Actually I don't think I've ever met a pizza I didn't like, and that includes the ones with anchovies. Pineapple can be hard to eat cause they leave the chunks so large...

Kwame is the first and only one to find a job so far, and he seemed to luck into it, he was chatting up some girlie who worked there, taking a smoke break, and he sauntered up and got his charm on.

Mebbe the rest of us can go job searching with Kwame, he can do all the talking and get us the mad hook up. He starts tomorrow at 7am of all times. What is there to do in a pizza place at 7am? Wash yesterday's pans, I guess.

A better spot opened up at the campground, and we moved yet again, but this time with everyone's help (sans Gabe) which made it much less frustrating. It was actually handy to have Gabe sit there to watch the stuff as the rest of us made trips.

This is beginning to feel like the MASH episode where Frank keeps ordering them to move The Unit back and forth across the road at whim. "The M stands for Mobile!"

Litany Webb, signing off

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Forceps. Scalpel. Whipped Cream.

Days Walking - 115

Mmn, Citronella Candles...So Seductive, Swoon.

It was not ten minutes after Kwame and Adrian left on their resupply excursion yesterday morning, the Camp Boss Lady - aka Rachel - stopped by for a chat. Rachel was very nice about the whole thing, but Caeled and I were told we had to move from the random unoccupied plot we'd all set up camp upon.

There was no one manning - er - womaning the office when we arrived that night, so we took a chance and just picked an open one. The site we annexed had been reserved by other folks, due in anytime now... And so the two of us had to break camp and move everything clear across the campsite to this crummy plot with a broken water spigot. Ah well, no biggie. I was getting soft after my five consecutive hours of sitting.

I want to say "Thank you pron_king181" for the unsecured WIFI connection, whoever you are. I hope you're not the immense, hairy, greenish fishbelly pale dude who keeps leaving his baroque monstrosity of an RV practically nude to adjust something on the backside. Yeah Hi, stop waving at me, I'm not your friend.

Ahh internet access! I wish I could just tap into a vein and mainline a few gigs. Just a few gigs big daddy, Please!

Anneli and Jake are definitively pregnant!
Previous speculations per their successful fertilization have been confirmed by experts in the field, including a powerful iconic figure described quite mysteriously as 'Dr. Ice Hands'.

They gave Anneli a blood test, and thusly confirmed that "H.C.G." (the You're a Mama, Sho Nuff Hormone) was present in her system, and they did an ultrasound to "confirm a normal pregnancy". Normal as opposed to the kind where the little one is growing inside your fallopian tube, or some such. So it's official, a little tyke is in Anneli and Jake's future. Now they have some decisions to make. I'll let you know when I know...

Jake and Anneli were sent away with a clean bill of health, a bill of the monetary sort, and fistfulls of "You're Pregnant!" pamphlets. How are these people supposed to make informed life and death decisions armed with stupid pamphlets?

"On the 'Gabe f*cked up his knee' front, we go now to Church, LIVE on the ground next to me. Church, what's it like there on the scene?"

"Well Litany, you have far too much free time on your hands."
"Good to know, Church. What can you tell us about Gabe?"
"He's resting comfortably, rather pissed at the world."

So yeah. His folks have agreed to pay for the surgery to fix his knee. It turns out that Gabe's medical family member is a Dentist. So much for a second opinion or a cheap operation... Although really, how hard can knee surgery be? Give me a knife and some tongs, I'll hook you up bro! Hmn, maybe not.

Robin - If Anneli, Jake and Gabe were to quit, we'd be losing our Engineer, Survival Expert, and our Equipment Specialist. Anneli is not as vital as Jake or Gabe (don't get me started on my personal lack of usefulness to a hiking group) but that's just up to this point. We have not needed her to build us a bridge or design a shelter to protect us from a typhoon or calculate the specific gravity of liquids when applied to the second law of thermodynamics. Yet.

Obviously Church as medical pro is the most vital person, and so far she's all about keeping up the hike. It is possible to go on without the three of them, but my concern is that once three people drop out, others will find reason to. So it's pins and needles impatient fun, and we'll just have to wait and see.

Kwame and Adrian brought back the planned-for goodies, and a few random mags as well. Brad and Angelina Jolie?? I leave the civilized world for a few months, and everything goes to the dogs. Brad was supposed to leave Jennifer for ME! Ugh, now I have to call Brad and straighten this whole thing out.

Also, Twinkies are the work of Satan and I cannot resist them. I ate mine and then arm-wrestled Caeled for his second Twinkie and I won. I was not surprised, my desire for Guar Gum knows no bounds. And don't get me started on Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, mm- hmmm aw yeah baby.

Litany Webb, signing off

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And I Wacked Myself But Good

Days Walking - 114

Huzzah! We arrived in Fairbanks at about 9:30 last night, and I promptly mashed my thumb pounding in a stake for the tent. Under the nail is now all icky brownish red. I put some dark blue nail polish on it to hide the yuck factor. I hope the nail doesn't fall off, that would look even more gross.

Church and Gabe ended up happily sleeping in chairs at the Emergency Room, and enjoying indoor plumbing. (it's interesting what qualifies as a hardship after months on the road - before the walk, I'd opt for a root canal before spending all night in an ER - now it sounds kinda nice) They got to take showers for free! This may seem like glorious charity, but as I've indicated before, we are rather odorous, (a sponge bath only does so much) so it was probably a humanitarian gesture on behalf of everyone in that wing of the hospital.

Since Gabe wasn't bleeding from head or other vital organs, it took almost four hours before they were seen and Gabe examined. And then of course, they have to take your temp and blood pressure and all that crap, when what we needed most was an X-Ray of his knee.

It turns out, Gabe has (And I'm quoting Church here, because this is all Greek to me) "An Articular Cartilage Injury, with a floating loose body or cartilage chip, interfering with the joint." They gave him an ice pack and some Tylenol and told him he'd need surgery.

So he's talking to his family, and figuring out what is to be done. Gabe has a relative who's some kind of doctor, but he's not sure what kind. We'll know more in a day or two.

Jake and Anneli tented with the rest of us, and first thing this morning, they headed out to the hospital to get Annelli examined. Since they have no appointment and no injury per se "I've been on a hiking trip for months and I think I'm pregnant and I'm worried for my baby" does not beat out the guy who just nailed a spike through his foot. So we'll see.

Our group is so damned small all of a sudden. I felt fear - I was actually afraid. There are four people missing, four people who have been in constant earshot for months and now it feels like they're lost or missing - -

"Where the hell is Chuch and Jake and Anneli and Gabe!! Where where where?!" my subconscious demands, frantic. "We lost them somewhere, they're hurt, they fell down a ravine, where is everyone?"

Am I so weak-willed? Seems so. I had to grit my teeth and breathe deeply and remind myself that everyone is alive and well, they are safe and sound at the medical center, and they will not die just because I'm not there to reassure myself.

I baby-sat for a toddler once, (Hi lil Gina!) and almost the whole time she was taking a nap. I must have checked in on her fifty times in two hours, because God Forbid anything should happen to the kiddo on my watch. The life and death responsibility was scary. The sudden lack of four members of the team was the same sort of feeling, I just really wanted to be able to peek in on them and make sure our four wayward walkers were safe.

Heather - life after Fairbanks, Hell Yeah! I don't know exactly how it's gonna work, but I'm gonna do my best.

Caeled and I got stuck guarding the gear and campsite while Adrian and Kwame have just set out into the city to procure a newspaper, fresh bread, bologna, twinkies, TP, an assortment of batteries, and thank you deity, many cans of 'Deep Woods OFF!'

Litany Webb, signing off

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The Most Excellent Bruno Putney!

Days Walking - 113

Heather - thanks muchly for your thoughtful words! You can always be counted on for insight and quality advice. I think one of your very first tidbits was the 'deodorant makes you stinkier' factoid, and it's true!

At the end of the hike yesterday, after another slow day totaling five miles, Church gave Gabe a thorough exam, focused on his knee. It was frightfully discolored and swollen. I had to leave the tent.

When he could not withstand the exam, (i.e. he screeched like a mortally wounded rabbit. If you've never heard a bunny scream, take my word for it and don't because it's a horrible sound) it became very clear that he was in far too much pain to be walking on the knee. How he managed five miles today is a mystery.

What a goofus. Why he felt the need to be a hero is beyond me. Everyone was willing to put up with me when I hurt my ankle, why he thought we'd treat him any differently, I don't know.

Maybe he thought he could make it, and didn't want to say "I almost made it to Fairbanks" which I can understand.

We all got into a huge confrontation with Gabe, trying to get him to agree to catch a ride, come morning. He was adamant about making it to town on his own two feet. We all stayed firm and told him that he could be tearing apart his knee from the inside, and that knee surgery could only repair so much.

He could have torn cartilage or a torn ligament, or both - there's no telling, we can't know. He needs to be properly examined. And with no job, and no insurance, it's fully stupid to keep walking on it, short of a life or death situation.

He would not agree, and in the end we had to tell him that if he didn't catch a ride, no one would be hiking the next day. We would all stay put, we'd sit on his gear, and he wasn't going anywhere.

Oh, it was ugly. He really wanted to keep walking, and he wasn't budging. But when you have seven other people who only want the best for you, eventually you cave. You can't fight kindness with cussing, though he tried.

So first thing this morning, we hailed a few passing trucks - the third one that stopped had a driver - Mr. Bruno Putney, thank you, yer a good man - willing to take Gabe into town. Church went along - she's not of the psycho mindset that most of us are, that she feels the need to physically tread every last step. We had discussed sending Anneli instead, but then Jake would want to go too, and she's only a few weeks pregnant, anyhow.

We sent the heavy equipment along with the two of them, and we hope to make a forced march to Fairbanks and hopefully arrive by late tonight. We're about thirteen miles away, we think. Since sunset doesn't deign to arrive until about 12:30am these days, it's pretty darned likely we'll make it during the 'day' even if we get in at 11pm. Weird I know. And sunrise is about 3:15am, it's bizarre.

We need to dig out, combine and count our fundage - it's good and it's odd not to worry about money, or where your purse, ID and ATM card are for weeks on end. We'll have to pay for the campground when we arrive in town, yuck, but running water will make it well worth it!

I feel really bad for Gabe. It's not like he was showing off or being stupid when he got hurt. He was just putting one foot in front of the other. And we forced him to lose the last thirteen miles to Fairbanks.

If he gets examined and the Docs tell him we were wrong and he was right, I don't know what he'll do. But you have to err on the side of caution. I'd be happy to return to this very spot and hike these miles with him in a few weeks, when he's better...

Litany Webb, signing off

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Please Excuse The Mess...

Days Walking - 112

Gabe’s knee was improved enough that we moved on today, though slowly. We made only about five miles total. We’re trying to convince him - not a fun project - to allow us to get him a ride into Fairbanks.

We’re only about eighteen miles out at this point. He’s moving on the knee, but we’re not sure he should be. It’s clear that it’s causing him pain with every step. We’re gonna try to encourage him to stop hiking and catch a ride.

I’m pleased to report that Day 1 of Jake and Anneli’s engagement went well, not a tiff to be heard! I’ve passed all of your thoughtful congratulations on to the happy couple, and they send back a cheerful thanks! I think they're enjoying all the extra attention.

Dad’s doing good, I’ve taken to calling him morning and night now, instead of the once per day as was our habit before he got sick.

Heather - Thanks for the hiking-while-preggers info! Wow, seven months is a long time. I don’t know that she should walk for that long, even if she could. And with a damn heavy pack to carry, the chance of slipping and falling, getting hit by an eighteen wheeler, on and on.

Enid - The wedding plans, I dunno. I would guess that they would fly to their family, probably hers, and marry there. I mean, what’s cheaper, flying like twenty people to Ack or two people to Maine?

Anneli and Jake haven’t discussed their exact plans with us yet - They want to get to a doctor, and get her checked out, make sure she’s really pregnant, and how far along, and what is the health of the baby if she is with child, certainment.

And after they get answers to their prenatal queries, they’ll be able to make an informed decision. If it was me, I think I would have to play it super safe and get my ass to a civilized city pronto, and make sure I went to the doctor daily weekly or bimonthly or whatever the correct fetus-scanning schedule is.

How could you tell your kid “Sorry you were born with club feet. If only I’d taken the proper amount of riboflavin. My bad. But you know, I was busy hiking through Ack right then and couldn‘t be bothered to stop. Now gimp on over there and get Momma the TV Guide.” No.

I overheard Caeled and Gabe chatting about Jake and Anneli’s situation, and they were both opting for having the couple stay with us. There is definite willingness to help carry Anneli's gear, make allowances, etc which is so cool. But they're also talking as if quitting the hike would be like losing a contest or something. I didn’t speak up to them, but it did get me thinking.

If Jake and Anneli quit the hike - I mean this is really a kind of extended vacation, even though it feels more important than that. I don't know that I buy in to the whole "I need to find myself" bullshit. You can meditate on your Purpose at home, you shouldn't need close encounters with grizzlies to Get Real.

Why does The Pilgrimage seem more important to us than a longer than average camping trip? I don’t know. It’s not like we’re charting new territory, Claiming New Land For Queen and Country or anything. I think it has personal importance for each of us, we all have our own reasons for being here.

I know that I was really fed up with life in the city, and all of the bullsh*t of daily life. But who isn’t? I just wanted to get some perspective, spend time in the great outdoors, and hopefully meet lots of people.

I mostly wanted to meet people, and we’ve met far fewer than I’d hoped. Obviously we picked the wrong state, if we want to meet and greet. I can think of a good twenty states that are more populous than Ack. Of course, a higher population doesn't mean the people will be friendly. I feel the inverse is true, in high density areas.

Cindy - Greets and Welcome. Sorry I did not say Hi the other day, we’ve got a lot going on (stuff is actually happening for a change!) and I’m very easily distracted. Sorry the place is such a mess just now. Usually I’m not so serious, don’t get the wrong idea. Read back a few weeks and give the goofy babblings a skim.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Extra Extra! Read All About It!

Days Walking - 111

Another day of no progress. We're almost to Fairbanks, we can see the lights aglow in the sky at night, taunting us. But it's all good, I'm in no hurry to get a day job just yet.

My Word, all sorts of sh*t be transpiring in this here locality!

You'll be largely spared from the sad, typical ratio of 2% hiking news, 98% rambling inane BS because for once, some stuff happened.

First, a bit of a flashback. It turns out that Church and Anneli were fighting yesterday because Church caught Anneli going through the medical supplies. You see, no one gets to rifle through the medical supplies. The proper procedure is to go through Church, who knows exactly where everything is.

She'll deliberate your actual need for the item, find it, record its use in her Meds Inventory - I'm not exaggerating - and help you use it, if necessary. She's very good, very thorough, and very anal about the whole thing.

So Church caught Anneli going through the medical supplies, and a "What do you think you're doing" and "None of your beeswax" tiff occurred. Only louder and with more swear words.

It wasn't until Church saw what Anneli was taking that she backed down, a flurry of whispering took place, and I walked in as they cheerfully discussed the weather with much animation.

And then last night, during a contemplative, digestive, vegetative after-dinner moment around one of our very rare campfires (we're getting more bold, this close to civilization) Jake stood up, knelt at Anneli's feet and asked her to marry him.

"Anneli, would you do me the honor of marrying me?" he said bravely. He was so cute right then, I might have said yes if he asked me with that same look on his face, and the firelight just so.

Anneli smiled and flushed and said "Yes!" almost immediately and they hugged and kissed and we all cheered. It was a very beautiful moment, and for once the eight of us were all cheery and happy at the same time.

He'd made her a cute little ring he made out of copper wire, it's a precious little thing.

And if you have not guessed by now, Anneli was digging through the medical supplies for a pregnancy test. She was like 2 weeks late (yes, THAT kind of late - since we have no jobs or schedules, there's only one way for a girl to be late...)

So now Jake and Anneli are engaged and they are also pregnant. They wanted to be engaged before we all knew that she is With Child. Obviously this raises lots of questions, ones I don't want to ask her but really want the answers to.

Is she gonna keep the baby?

Is she gonna marry Jake?

How will her parents feel about her bringing home a white boy?

How are they going to find somewhere to live in 9 months or less?

How will they/he find a job with good insurance in 9 months or less?

Until which trimester can you hike all day long?

How will their decisions effect the rest of us? How can I even waste time on how I will be effected - it's all about the baby, and Anneli needs excellent prenatal care, starting instantly.

The whole 'sleeping outside in danger of wolves and bears and avalanches' has got to stop for the three of them, obviously. I'm trying to picture what I would do if I was the pregnant personage.

I don't know. I could say one thing now, and feel totally different if I was actually in the situation. We all have a lot to think about and discuss, and we have to be sure we don't put any pressure on Anneli, or make her feel bad if/when they want to leave the group.

In other health-related news, Gabe's knee is doing slightly better. The swelling has gone down, and he has a very respectable bruise going on, with some impressive discoloration. You take an involuntary inhalation through gritted teeth when you see it - you know the sound I mean, the "oooh, that's gotta hurt" sound.

I'll keep you guys posted.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Mmmn Cherry Garcia

Days Walking - 110

We're taking an unscheduled rest day - Gabe slipped on some mucky mud about an hour into today's hike and wrenched his knee. It's all swollen and angry-looking now and he has trouble putting weight on it.

He's a brave dude, but the way he yelped when he tried to stand up and immediately fell over again, I know it's gotta hurt pretty bad. Without an X-Ray, we can't know what's going on inside. For right now he's keeping off his feet, keeping that leg elevated, and we're waiting for the swelling to go down.

He might be able to continue with a splint and a make-shift crutch. But if the knee problem is serious, we might have to resort to a stretcher or a litter. That's gonna be fun, carrying the man all the way to Fairbanks. But it could have been me that got hurt, so no complaining here.

Hey maybe we could make like a moving dollie instead of a stretcher. It always seems uncanny how a heavy load becomes so manageable when you tip it just so. Hmn, but would Gabe allow one of us to tip him just so? That would take a lot of trust. One slick oily spot on the road and down he'd go. Nice theory, but probably a bad idea.

Ooh very cool - Thanks everyone for the interesting book recommendations! I plan to ambush a Barnes and Noble and hunt down each book for perusal.

Squirrley - welcome! I don't think you need to worry about your friend visiting Alaska. The people here are good, solid folks who are very down to earth and helpful. Night and day compared to Los Angeles, I can tell you!

Church and Anneli got into a fight this morning, I didn't catch what it was about, and by the time I got back to camp, they were being guardedly civil and strangely chatty, which made me even more curious. They wouldn't tell me what was up. I suck, I would make a terrible war correspondent wouldn't I - -

"This is Litany Webb, on the scene in... Where are we? I don't know where we are, but there's a lot of sand blowing around. Some people were shooting at some other people, and there are some dead bodies over by... uh, that building, you know - the tan colored brick one."

Janine - Kwame is doing fine, thanks for reminding me! We've been keeping an eye on him and so far he seems good. I think he might be overcompensating though, because he doesn't seem to be eating enough now. Loss of appetite, he says. I guess if seven people watched me like a hawk every time I picked up a spork, I'd lose my appetite too.

Hey there's a weight loss plan - plant a webcam in your kitchen and connect it to the internet. Log in to 'WatchMeSnack.com' Then people can watch your eating habits, and they know when you keep sneaking back in for another handful of cookies. Of course, you could just take the package into the living room and no one would be the wiser...

I'd worry about the food fetishists out there. "Ooh, she's eating Cherry Garcia again, right out of the carton. Ohhhh that's so hot, Pant Pant." and that would be weird.

Litany Webb, signing off

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Sherpas Do It On Top

Days Walking - 109

Dad went home from the hospital today. He has been armed with numerous pamphlets on Diabetes, and equipments like blood sugar testers and finger prickers and prescriptions and et cetera.

I can't imagine poking oneself multiple times daily. I avoid papercuts like the plague. An old friend of the family who is a nurse will be teaching him how to give himself injections of insulin. I hope I never have to do that.

Dad's been to see a dietician and they've put him on a thoroughly dull diet, as one would expect. I'm not there to enforce this diet thing, but I think that fear will help motivate him, at first anyway. Fear of dying, and fear of me kicking his butt. Hopefully the two together will keep him honest, and alive.

Oh, and Joann will be helping him too. I've been talking to her more now that Dad's sick, and she's pretty all right. I've revised my estimation of her, and I have decided that she is cool peeps. Perhaps I should go back and edit my grumpy remarks regarding her... I mean, she could be my step-mom one day. How weird is that.

As of a few minutes ago, I am without a book to read. We've all rotated the books we've brought along and now there is nothing new to consume. Looking forward to stocking up when we get in to a civilized location. Any recommendations, y'all? I want to take a look at Freakonomics, per Kthrne's praise - give me some more titles, oh my wise readers!

I've been deliciously anticipating our arrival in Fairbanks, which cannot arrive soon enough for my taste.

Things To Do In Fairbanks:

Hang with Delightful Dad (hopefully he can still come)

Find Work

Attend an All You Can Eat Buffet and PIG OUT until they call the cops.

Get Laid (should I be worried that food ranks above lovin?)

Sleep in a real bed at least once

Buy Many Books (ugh, so heavy for to carry)

Get Sh*tfaced Drunk (I've been without for months, so mebbe not)

Get Laid Again

Buy new batteries for all electronic items

Hire Sherpa to carry my sh*t the rest of the way to Chile (cuz damn).

Jump Sherpa's bones - you know they must have endurance, yow!

Fire Sherpa - it's not you it's me - buy Jeep, drive rest of the way.

Cause you know, the high-paying temp job I'll get with no place of residence, no phone, and no car will allow me to fund all these wild expectations. Bleh. I'm thinking, I'll have to fib to the employer. I mean, if they knew I was only in town for a few weeks until we earn enough for walking money, they're not gonna hire me.

Maybe temp agency work. Like something clerical. Dream on, Lit.

Today we came across another piece of litter too big for us to collect and carry - it was a box about the size a 20 inch TV comes in, and it was full of baby shoes, like the kind for kids too small to walk yet. They were all in their retail boxes, cute and pristine and lace-coated and useless. Why can't we find a crate of pancake mix or books or canned peaches or something? Noooo.

Litany Webb, signing off

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I Want My Empty V

Days Walking - 108

Big Hugs for all my wonderful peeps! Bless all of you for your thoughtful words, insight, and kind support. I couldn't ask for better friends. I can literally feel your helpful energies across all these lonely empty miles. It's when you're in trouble that you really know who your friends are!

I really appreciate that you all took the time to give me virtual hugs and guidance, they are very necessary and very welcome. Dad is doing better - and is also touched by all your kindness.

Good grief I'm going to start crying again.

Dad's supposed to get out of the hospital tomorrow and is not scheduled to die within the next decade.

Speaking of DEATH, I was reading Dooce the other day (as everyone does/should, as she is prurient bloggie cakey goodness mit frosting) and since there was no new post just then - what, does she have a life or something? - I clicked on the daily photo.

The pic, in reference to Memorial Day showed the tombstone of Jon's father. Like I really needed a picture of a beloved father's final resting place, right then... But the point of my mentioning this is that on close examination of the pic, I noticed that the heading for the spouse did not yet have a listing for the dates of the mother.

So the mother is still alive - or buried elsewhere...

It would be weird to go and visit your husband's plot and sit there and know that you'll be spending many years rotting a few feet below where you now sit/stand. I don't know that I would go to a cemetery to visit a loved one that has passed on.

I tend to think that all points are equidistant to heaven. It's not like the person has spent time in the cemetery, nothing of their essence is in the tombstone. Unless they carved it themselves, and then really how much essence can soak into granite?

I think I would prefer to not know exactly where I'll be buried or scattered or stored.

At this point, I think it would be foolish to allow one's body to be destroyed. Pop me directly into cryogenic freeze, thank you. Even if it takes 200 years to cure whatever my cause of death was, hey I'll be a patient popsicle. Of course, how would the expensive procedure be paid for is a mystery...

Perhaps I could enter some sort of indentured servitude once revived, and work off my debt for five years or ten years or whatever. Any skills I might have would obviously be hopelessly outdated, so I'd probably be stuck doing manual labor.

But wouldn't they have robots for all the manual labor by then? Well something equally banal then. Sex slave or some such. But wouldn't they have sex robots by then?

I could write a book about this exciting 21st Century era.
...But wouldn't they have robots for book-writing by...

Maybe I could go on a talk show circuit, and tell the viewers all about the 21st Century. Cause you know, all those other recently thawed people wouldn't have ruined that gig yet... Hmn.

Or they could put all us recently thawed people on a reality show, and mix us up with modern day people of the 24th Century and hoo boy the laughs would be aplenty as we were confounded by the tri-sexuals and Britney clones.

'And what Litany doesn't know is that Dana isn't just a tri-sexual, it's a tri-sexual robot!'

Yowza, that's some good music television.

Litany Webb, signing off

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F*ck F*ck F*ck

Days Walking - 107

My Dad is in the hospital right now, after passing out, hitting his head on the coffee table, and passing into a Ketoacidotic Coma. Thank goodness that Joann was with him at the time. I've said some snarky things about Joann, and I hereby take them all back.

It turns out that Dad has 'Type 1 Diabetes' of all things, and this incident was a loudspeaker announcement of its arrival. "Attention! You are doomed to an early death due to wounds that won't heal. Oh yeah, and blindness, can't forget the blindness." Well f*ck.

And here I am in the middle of f*cking nowhere and I can't help, and Dad had been talking about meeting up with us in Fairbanks for like a weekend, and I was really looking forward to seeing him and now I don't know if that's going to happen and it's selfish of me but I really wanted to see him and hug him and tell him I'm sorry for the stupid sh*t I've done and this is pissing me off.

Diabetes kind of runs in the family, Dad's sister and his grandmother had it too I think. So yes, I'll probably wake up one day with the cursed condition as well, that's something exciting to look forward to.

Type 1 Diabetes means that the pancreas no longer makes insulin. So you have to get shots every day, whether you give them to yourself, or someone else gives them to you, or you have some kind of gizmo installed in your body.

And with daily shots, the odds go way up that one day the person giving you the shots will be distracted and there will be an air bubble in the syringe and then you have a bubble in your bloodstream and then you die from an aneurysm or some sh*t. And if the shot-giver is Dad, the chances go way up that distraction is a factor. Ugh!

I'd say go with the gizmo, but what if you roll over in your sleep and hit the 'dispense' button and you just lay there pressing on it and you end up ODing and killing yourself, all because you like to sleep on your right side?

I'm sure they have safeties built into the gizmo to avoid that, and Dad hasn't mentioned getting one or anything, I was too busy crying on the phone with him to really ask too many lucid questions. I KNEW something bad was going to happen when I was away. I knew he was going to get hit by a bus or drown while he was out kayaking or something.

And I don't pray all that often, but I've been praying a lot for Dad while I've been on this trip, and it's almost like a twisted wish from a mischievous jinn - "Aaaa - you didn't call 'No Diabetes!' during your wish, Ha Ha!" So I forgot to pray for protection against internal diseases and organ failure, excuse me.

The impact to his head left a good sized scratch which bled all over, and poor Joann was very composed and called 911 before she freaked out, and kudos to her for that. And thanks to the paramedics and doctors and nurses who deftly treated and diagnosed My Dear Daddy.

Obviously, millions of people every year come down with Diabetes, and they live full and happy lives and all that crap. But no one can tell me that it's not going to shorten his lifespan. And as I look online for complications due to Diabetes, it's f*cking scary, all the related disorders there are.

I mean, he could be dead before I see him again. It's not like I could have protected him if I'd stayed in LA. I can help him avoid a bus, but what could I have done about this? Helped him avoid junk food? Would that have mattered? Or just delayed it? This feels like punishment for leaving him all alone.

And yet, would he have felt free enough to get serious with another woman if I was in town, clinging to his ankles and drinking all his milk and coming over twice a week to do laundry?

I'm glad Dad met Joann and I'm glad she was with him and is with him now, as he's in the hospital. My brother is there too and it kills me that I can't be there. I guess this will be a test for Joann, if she weathers this then I'll have to like her.

Get Well Dad. I miss you, Goofus.

Litany Webb, signing off

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