High-Calorie, Buttery Dinner of Sin

Days Walking - 46

I woke up this morning with a perverse desire for a cigarette, even though its been over a month since my last one. I swear I could smell secondhand smoke and matches, even though everyone else was asleep when I woke up. Maybe it was a dream that lingered into wakefulness? Mebbe.

I suppose that I had a sexist view of the trucking industry, but there are a lot more female truckers in this world than I thought there were. It seems like a crappy job, so hats off to you ladies who are willing to put up with the job and male truckers BS on top of that - and you just know there is male trucker BS.

So far, the truckers we've met have been a very cool bunch of people!

Email Francis - no I have not been dictating these last few days of posts to Marina's voicemail. I was gonna post em myself, but Blogger has been 9 Kinds of F*cked Up lately, and I have not the patience to mess with it, so I've been emailing the posts for Marina to - er - post.

What is wrong with Blogger, by the way? Is it just me?

Ms. Heather, I can hereby report my Pitstickless Status as "Surprisingly UnStanky" - and that is from an unbiased nose, not my own. You might end up converting the whole group to your wild ways of unsticky pits. I predict Thank You Cards in your future, if just from my blissful sheltermate.

Kato! How come we don't sleep with the pee bottles... Because they might leak, and who wants to smell like pee for weeks on end? And we don't cook it, just thaw it - cooking the pee - jeez can you just imagine the smell?

The Silence of Litany, Day 3.
Gabe and Caeled are trying hard to break me. They're trying to tease me into talking, but without success. Gabe offered me $3. Hmn, maybe I should hold out for $5. As you can tell, there's not a lot of entertainment going on, and we end up making our own.

The soul-saving, soul searching theme from yesterday got me thinking. These, my walking cadre - are a group of people who have done a bit of living. Clearly we're not fraidy cats content to hide under beds. As such, we each have a rich, high-calorie, buttery dinner of 'sin' to walk off. Though IMHO - a lot of activities archaically regarded as 'sins' aren't really, or are not evil for the act themselves, but how they effect others.

Everyone here has a secret shame that they don't regret. I know I do.

On that note, getting to know Adrian better (training was a lot of yelling and crying) has been interesting, especially with me not talking. Oddly, it seems to have made him open up more than he might have otherwise. All I can do is nod, shrug, make sad or happy faces. So he gets to ramble. People love talking about themselves. Once Adrian read the post about life and death, soul-saving and sex, he decided to tell me a snippet of a trip he was on a long time ago.

Adrian was 17 years old and was abandoned by his girlfriend in the Mojave Desert. She drove off with his car and his wallet. He said that he deserved it, but would not tell me how/why.

So he was a good fifty miles from the nearest town, and he had no cell phone (it seems they were not standard issue in 1997?) he starts walking towards civilization. All day long he's trying to hitch a ride, but no one will stop. I don't know if any of you have spent a full day in the Brutal California Sun with no shade or water, but it's truly Hellish.

Finally around sundown this trucker stops and offers him a ride -
For a price.

So the trucker wants oral sex. Adrian told him that there was no way. Trucker lowers his bid to a handjob. Adrian says no, and the guy starts to drive off. Adrian starts yelling at him, and agrees to the deal.

Adrian performed said act, and was given a pack of wet-naps, a ride to the next town and $10 in McDonalds gift certificates. Adrian sat on the curb until McDee's opened, and got his McMuffin on. He said that if he hadn't taken the ride, he might be dead now.

And that's Adrian's Unregretted Shame.
You might get to hear mine one of these days.

The bizarre thing is, why would Adrian be willing to tell me all about the jerkoff trucker (literally) but not the reason his girlfriend abandoned him in the desert? Now I really want to know.

It must be something horrible.
What is it? He won't tell me.

Litany Webb, signing off

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