Curtains For You, Mugsy

Days Walking - 43

It was surprisingly easy, once we'd done it, to show Deadhorse our backsides. Of course, we are all smugness with full tummies, clean clothes, and surplus supplies of toilet paper. We'll see what tune we're whistlin in a week or two when our socks are caked with poo and we are all out of chapstick.

Today was a productive day, made some good progress, had to tell a few concerned truck drivers that we were not broken down, and did not need assistance, and were only slightly insane.

(Instead of Utterly Insane) Speaking of insanity, there was an old dude whom we shared dinner with one evening - Aaron was his name. So we started talking, just shooting the breeze, and he asked what we were doing in Alaska, and we told him, and he flat out laughed at us.

He was like, "No, really..." And we're all "Yes, really." We described the trip from Barrow, showed him pics, and he just kept shaking his head, wondering why in the world eight people would choose to suffer so. He thinks we'd be better off finding a village in Mexico and relaxing in the sun till the money runs out.

The virtue is in the striving, Aaron my man.

After the first two trucks to pass us nearly killed Church and Kwame, we decided to walk off the road when visibility was low. It would be our fault and not the trucker's fault if they squooshed one or more of us. They're not expecting hikers / pedestrians to be on their road.

The Dalton Highway
aka State Rte 11 or North Slope Haul Road
The Dalton Highway is approximately 415 miles long and was built in 1974-75 to open trucking lines, to facilitate the construction of the Prudhoe oil facilities and the northern half of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. The road is named for James Dalton, an Alaskan Pioneer Engineer who recognized the oil potential of the north slope.

Our guidebooks indicate that there are no services between Prudhoe Bay and Coldfoot, a distance of about 250 miles.

The Dalton Highway is not entirely paved, (supposed to be by 2008) we've heard lots of complaints about dust and gravel - during its thawed state. It's recommended to drive the road very slowly and pull over for trucks (to save your windshield).

We saw pipeline inspection / service vehicles and helicopters once in a while, but we've been cautioned not to depend on their help in an emergency. The road is famous for breaking windshields and destroying tires. It's recommended to attach a rubber car mat (bungies and duct tape!) to the underside of your gas tank, for extra protection.

My Alva Man Mike:
T-Shirts with the Deadhorse logo are indeed available, though I did not buy one. If you're down with their filthy logo, you can give the General Store a call at (907) 659-2412 and they will hook you up, bro.

('Filthy' is slang for 'muy bueno', btw)

Oh for more info about those 'well houses' - you know, I'm not positive that people live in them. I mean, I asked a guy who was walking by, and he said so, ("bunkhouses for the workers") but he kinda chuckled as he spoke. Might have been thinking, 'let's bullshit the city girl' so I'm not sure. Could be covers for some oil drills or something. Grrr. I don't like not knowing.

How many people actually live in this area? Not counting the few thousand oil workers, because while they do dwell, they do not live - - according to the U.S. Census of 2000, only 5 people actually live here. 3 Male, 2 Female. 3 of the 5 are childrens. These resident folks work at the post office, the hotel, and the general store.

Happy Sigh
It's so very nice to be wearing clean, freshly-laundered clothing, I stench of Downy and it makes me so very happy. The hotel had a laundry room which blew me away, because I thought we'd be washing stuff in the sink and hang-drying everything. We got our deliriously happy wash, dry, fluff and fold on, and the hotel people laughed at me. Next time you take toasty warm clothes out of the dryer, remember that they are a nearly holy gift and not a right.

I don't know about you guys, but I looove 'shrooms. Who knew that AK was all about mushrooms? I guess most people think of snow, polar bears, and more snow when they think about Alaska. How wrong I was! Join me Brothers an' Sisters in lamentation for our ignorance...

Kevin - nah I'm not hurt by the ruckus that resulted from the pics. If I posted pics more often, like a good girl should, it would not be such a surprise to see them. Y'all have been patiently waiting for photos, and I finally gave you a couple. It's cool, I'm happy that you guys were happy. :o) I'm a bad chronicler and should be spanked.

Waggling fanny... Please? Just a little?

The shared shower situation was kind of odd, but you get used to it. Like going to the gym, except there weren't any curtains for the stalls. The guys tell me that even at the gyms back home, guys don't have curtains. Don't the guys want curtains? Why don't they have curtains?

You can still be manly and ask for a curtain. Go ask at the desk, maybe you can sign one out? It could have sports team logos or hammers and wrenches or something else testosteronie on it. No?

Anyway, we three girls always made sure that at least two of Our Guys were with us while we were soapy and naked among the Wild Menfolk of AK. They are a very very hairy lot, by the by. Lots of facial hair, back hair, ass hair. Leg hair that begged for braiding. Even our men have gone au naturale and are sporting beards.

(We've started calling this stark, glorious, awe-inspiring state "Ack", in kick-ass Bill the Cat fashion).

So anywhoo, we head into the showers and there seemed to be only one other guy in there, we practically had the place to ourselves. Cool? Not so much. He was making loud breathing noises, and what I can only describe as grunting and panting. I was afraid to look. Was he on the receiving end of oral sex? On the receiving end of some other kind of sex? Enjoying his own company? I didn't want to look.

I looked. There are frosted, wavery glass partitions, so it's not like I was gaping at his package, but I definitely peered in his direction. He was alone, and he wasn't doing anything freaky. He was just getting his scrub on, all vigorous. He had a soapy washcloth and was going to town, soap was flying and spattering, it was all good clean fun. But wow, to listen to it... "Prurient" is the best single word for the sounds, I'd say.

Sounds like a good name for a new Herbal Essences flavor.
Pruriente - Now With Lilac.

Litany Webb, signing off

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