Cacophony of Curses, Swearing and Spittle

Days Walking - 45

I've accepted an slightly odious barter deal. Adrian has Pee Bottle Duty this week, and he really hates Pee Bottle Duty (It's where you are the person to collect all the pee bottles from everyone in the morning, after their overnight use, and take them a safe distance from camp, and empty them.)

It's a pretty straightforward job, but Adrian hates it with such passion. He always manages to get himself spattered in some way. Like those coworkers whom always manage to end up wearing a portion of their lunch.

"Not my favorite tie!" they exclaim.

Simply emptying the pee bottles is not the pain - it's when the contents have partially or completely frozen and you have to warm them by / over the cook stove first. Yeah fun. It's not hard, I'd rather warm pee bottles than cook. How sad is that.

Of the group, I'm probably the biggest juice hog - -
(Juice as in electricity) because I just gotta read me some Robin Diane before sleeping. Unsurprisingly, I really dislike cranking the dynamo to power my fevered need for Conversations. Perhaps we can find some methadone in the next town, and start stepping me down.

I can quit whenever I want. I'm totally in control.
Clicky Clicky Click Click.
...Trembling...
Clicky!

Heather, you should know that you are to blame for my Dooce habit.
A few weeks ago, when I noticed that you linked to only 2 blogs, mine and someone else's, I was oh so curious to discover who could be as amazing as me. (rolling eyes at self) So I clicked on Dooce and damn, she is nothing like me in that she is viciously smart, Japanese Folded Steel Sharp, and wickedly funny. Sigh, it's depressing. Note to all - don't read Dooce just before trying to write your own blog entry, you will feel inadequate and less-than, she is so great.

So for this week I'll be emptying the pee bottles and Adrian will be cranking for fifteen minutes a day as I get my internet fix.

I need to take the time and go back, finish the Day in The Life of Litany post, and I will. But not today. I do want to get my thoughts on that day chronicled before I lose my notes/forget details. This is important to me because road-side hiking and camping is a world different from tundra hiking and camping.

On the open tundra, we had few worries beyond ourselves. We were watching for bears, wary of crossing ice-covered waterways, and so on. But now we're concerned about trucks running us down (we spend most of our time off the road, but we're following it pretty closely because if we should have an emergency, the truckers will hopefully be helpful.)

- - Or officials telling us You Can't Camp Here (though I don't know where we'd go if they did... Would they arrest us and drive us all in a paddy wagon to Fairbanks? Or just give us a ticket/fine?)

- - Or robbers in the night (An evil trucker, down on his luck after losing his whole paycheck during one hand of Gin Rummy, could see our camp from the road and kill us all in the night, stealing our gear and leaving our NAKED frozen carcasses sleepingbagless, forever locked into comfy sleeping poses).

We came upon a broken down truck this afternoon. Jason Ottakar was
the trucker, he was kinda surly at first (I think, at first - He thought we were hoping for a ride) but calmed down and got chatty and showed us pictures of his wife and FIVE CHILDREN who live in Wrangell, Ack. Five kids, woah. I feel sorry for his wife. Jason gets to come home, have some lovin, and head out again. Charlotte has five kiddies to wrangle. We hung out with Jason for about a half hour, he's cool peeps. He shared some of his thermos of coffee and oatmeal raisin cookies with us. Then a repair truck showed up for Jason and we resumed the hiking.

The whole Vow of Silence thing is going all right. Some of the group have decided that Making Litany Talk has become their goal in life, and are doing things like purposely misunderstanding my gestures, sneaking up and scaring me, and intentionally misreading my jotted notes, hoping I will erupt in a cacophony of curses, swearing and spittle, and break my vow.

I'm now sheltering with Adrian, that's a change.
I was getting along fine with Church and she with me, but we all decided to rotate roomies. We won't get sick of any one person this way, and it's a good way to get to know people. Until you've slept with (next to) a person, you don't really know them. Adrian is respectful of my privacy and doesn't talk in his sleep.

Hey my right leg is not cold anymore - Did I mention that I got new thermal underpants while we were in Deadhorse? I did. They were $35 and let that be a lesson to anyone who is baking their underthings and wants to chase bags. Resist the urge.

And caffeine! I now have two bottles of NoDoz. Well one and a half, now. Don't even ask how much $$ they cost, it was obscene. Mmmn sweet sweet arrhythmia how I've missed you.

Oh...Two ladies were startled/dismayed enough yesterday by my vocalized desire to be thoroughly used as though I were farmland that they wrote in concern for my immortal soul.

(Ladies, capital L read my blog? Why? I'm so sorry. Why??)

Thank you very much, but don't waste time praying for my soul.
Pray that the group doesn't die a horrible death. My soul is my own concern. And come on, dismayed Ladies - can you honestly tell me that the need for an utterly complete, comprehensive copulation never comes over you? Get into the corners, clean out the cobwebs? Leaving you spent, wheezing, panting and sore, ready for a long hot shower, a full bottle of Fiji Water and a 9 Hour Nap? No?

It's not Satan's wicked whispers, it's just being a mammal and having hormones. Animals are designed to breed. You can tell by the way that so many of them die right after giving birth / fertilizing their mate. We're just recently civilized animals, after all.

This is just my philosophy, I don't mean to offend anyone or force my views on you. I'm young and still have a lot to learn.

Litany Webb, signing off Everyone was Kung Fu Fighting

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