Heavy Petting and Pasta Primavera

Days Walking - 12

I woke up at 3:43AM to Anneli and Jake enjoying a session of snogging and heavy petting. (What happened to Caeled? I guess he decided to room with Adrian after I passed out...)

Here's how it went down: I was sleeping. I fell asleep about midnight, and Anneli and Caeled were already asleep. Or so they seemed.

Now, I'm a heavy sleeper, dead to the world usually, so I guess they thought they would escape detection. I opened my eyes, which were already adjusted to the dark, (having been staring at my eyelids for a few hours...how dull for them) - -

- - And what do I see, four inches from my nose, but Jake and Anneli having a heavy makeup makeout session. (They'd been fighting, the other day...) They were trying to be quiet, but it's hard to be quiet when you're that enthusiastic. There was no nudity, but the clothes were askew and hands were busy.

I concentrated on keeping my breathing slow and even and my eyes so nearly closed that I could barely see them. It was a pretty hot scene, and I enjoyed it. I was irked at the rudeness of it, and slightly turned on. Anneli glanced in my direction a few times, but I kept playing opossum and they were none the wiser.

I know it was also rude of me to watch, and not let them know I was awake. But I have no TV, and must get my voyeurism appeased somehow. A few weeks of no reality tv makes one primed for peeping. Maybe I'll try snoring next time, and they can relax and go all the way.

Am I bad? Do you forgive me?
What would you have done?


5 Evil Things I Miss:

1) In-N-Out Burger's
Freshly Cut, Never Frozen French Fries
- - They don't taste like any other french fry you've ever had, because they are cut from real, whole potatoes seconds before they are fried and delivered unto you for inhalation. Like, in the Biblical sense. You say "Something's wrong with this here French Fry" - -

- - and then you realize the truth - the fries are wonderful. They only seem wrong because every other fry you've ever had was frozen two years before you ate it. They don't have In-N-Out Burger in most states, so I recommend buying a plane ticket to CA immediately.

2) Smirnoff Ice Premium Malt Beverage
I'm a wuss when it comes to drinking, but they are yummy. Drinks have to taste good. Plus, I'm off mead for life.

3) Half-drunken Un-Wed Sex in Front of the Fire, on the Faux Bearskin
There's really nothing like it. I recommend a yoga pad underneath the bearskin tho.

4) Caffeine
C'mon Baby. Just a dime bag. I'll be sooo nice to you.

5) Electricity
Anything that is so necessary should be classified as an addiction. I'm cranking my fingers off over here.


It's that time again, where we answer Comment Queries!

Brought to you by Mountain House Pasta Primavera Family Dinner -
Damn Tasty!

Mike's Question:
I just had a reality check as to the enormity of how long your trek actually is. I went to Yahoo maps to see how far Prudhoe Bay is from your starting point...I tried the "driving directions" feature to get the mileage and..."We are sorry, but driving directions cannot be determined between these two locations. Try a nearby location." Can you recommend a nearby location so I can try again?

Answer:
You'd like some directions to better understand the enormity of my plan, plight, and pilgrimage - Sure thing!

Wait, no.

There are no directions that Yahoo Maps can give you. This region is too remote, empty, and too rarely traveled. And if Yahoo could give you directions, they would be street directions. They would not match our meandering foot-powered path.

As the Snow Goose flies, it's about 205 miles, say 215 walking, (or more). A benefit of hiking Alaska in the dead of winter is that 99.9% of the bogs, streams, quicksand pits, creeks, sea inlets / small bays are frozen over, allowing a human to walk across with ease. This allows us a lot more direct a path than we'd be allowed in the summer months.

See, we're not stupid, just crazy. Thanks for the interest Mike!

Litany Webb, signing off

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