Read My Lips - Aint No Trees

Days Walking - 63

Yay! My kitty is feeling much better, Daddy reports. I’ve asked him for a new picture of her and when he sends it, I’ll post it for you guys (cause seeing my kitty is high on your list of priorities, I’m sure).

As we’re getting closer to the Brooks Range, we’re definitely getting closer to the wolves. The howling is not as new and surprising as it was the first night we heard it, but it’s no less unsettling.

These covert canines are now sending secure burst transmissions in the form of highly modulated howls, updating their kill squads per our location. Ah well - I’ve begun to accept my fate as food. At least I’ll serve some useful purpose. And have an interesting death. It’s all about the dramatic demise.

Also - WTF, everyone has a freakin SaberSpoon but me. Pout. See? It’s useless, beautiful glowing material goods that are the source of all my misery. I’d seriously consider casting off all my worldly goods and wander nude in the wilderness until I attain enlightenment - if said act wouldn’t kill me from hypothermia in 30 seconds.

I’m re-reading the U.S. Army Survival Manual, which is a good read by the way. The section about arctic survival is interesting but it assumes a bit too much - -

- - Every other sentence lapses into a description about using “pine needles, leaves, moss, pine boughs, or grass.” - - Um. Dear Mr. Army Manual Writing Man, I hate to break it to you, but I’ve been hiking for sixty-three days, and I have not seen a tree or blade of grass in all that time. Perhaps in the updated Survival Manual, you could include a segment about regions above the treeline. No offense or anything.

Also, according to the manual, if you kill and eat a bearded seal or polar bear, do not, do not under any circumstances eat the liver - it contains a dangerous concentration of Vitamin A.

Hmn, there’s a way to murder an arctic amigo - dose them up with Vitamin A pills until they croak. Then I could scatter some seal cutlets around before law enforcement shows up. Bwa ha ha.

I cranked my ass off last night, and today my iPod came back like it was raised from the dead, with the Jitterbuggin and the joy. It poured its little musical heart out, and lasted a good eight hours!

All it needed was some love.

Litany Webb, signing off

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