Your Sisters The Buttocks

Days Walking - 58

Rest Day!
We've pushed it a bit, if we were hikers obedient to the plan, we woulda rested on Day 56. But we all agreed to push on. The longer days help us restore more energy overnight.

Kwame's penance is ongoing.
He's performing his chores uncomplainingly, but you should see this man on Pee Bottle Duty. It's like he's a devout anti-urea zealot, and should the tiniest droplet of yucky pee-pee touch his person, well No Heaven For Him. I'm careful when I empty the bottles, but I don't treat it like the flesh eating virus. It takes him forever, good thing he gets up early.

The satellite uplink has really been getting on my nerves lately. It's died on me just now for no reason - wait - twice in a row. And then here it is, working just fine. I'm worried that it might be the battery. We're supposed to have a backup battery, but no one can find it. I might have to spend a few hours digging for it. It's not all that big, so there's no telling where it's ended up. If we still have it, sigh.

A chopper flew over our camp twice today, and we've been fearing the appearance of security or law enforcement. We talked about strategies, should we be approached. They could try to round us up and take us in, especially if its all "You can't camp here", cause what are we gonna do, load up our Jeep and drive away?

So if the authorities try to wrangle us, we've decided to scatter. Yeah that's the ticket. We'll use our mad tundra skills to blend into the landscape. You know, crouch behind a pingo or a wolf or something.

"- - Thanks for the help, Frank. You can eat me later, ok? Or just a snack - Maybe just take a little off the hips?"

I tell you, my ass is now tight as hell from all this walking, I could juggle quarters with my ass. But the hips, why do they have to be so stubborn? Why can't you be more like your sisters, the buttocks?

Of course, if we scatter, the authorities will have no other choice but to hunt us down by helicopter like wayward caribou. And we have a plan then too. See, when they tranquilize animals from choppers, the animals are scared and keep running. But we'll be zigging and zagging. A chopper can't turn on a dime. Just stop running, heh.

I'm joking. Obviously we would politely obey the authorities. They have heaters in those trucks. Sweet sweet incarceration.

The really terrible thought is, what if they load us up in the paddy wagon and take us back northward? Even worse, what if they take us south? As a Grandma, I'd be in my rocking chair, telling my grandkiddies about The Pilgrimage, and I'll have to admit that there was a 100 mile stretch where Grandma caught a reluctant ride from The Alaskan Highway Patrol.

"Did you really walk all the way to Chile, Grandma?"

"Um, yeah... Sure... Here's a drum set. Go annoy your Daddy."

We are nearing the Brooks Range, which is popping out of the tundra like an afterthought. Usually you get foothills before you get mountains. Not this time. Some overtasked deity muttered "Oh yeah, I was gonna put a mountain range here."

Plunk.



Pretty, huh?
Most likely, this is where the jovial wolves are waiting to devour us.



We're back to close-quarters sheltering, and somehow I'm now with Adrian and Caeled. Why isn't it me, Church and Anneli? How did this happen? Tomorrow I'll make sure we girls end up together. I'd been half-seriously considering seducing Adrian - it's been on my mind since the dream yesterday.

Perhaps just a little harmless snogging, hmm? It won't go any further. Well maybe some heavy petting. Who don't appreciate them some petting now and then?

And now Caeled has to join us. Maybe it's for the best. I know I shouldn't go starting things with these boys, but I have needs and no privacy. When I lose it one of these days and thoroughly and deliciously jump someone's bones, I know I'll be sorry. Afterward.

They don't prepare you for things like wanton lust in the hiking guide books - I know - I checked the index.

Litany Webb, signing off

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