Unwilling Blood Donor Dinner
Days Walking - 101
Almost sounds like a class, doesn't it?
"I'm Professor Webb, you can call me Litany. I'll be lecturing today on how best to pee in the Ackian Outback while minimizing the bug bites received on your tender backside. This will be on the test."
As Adrian was eating his slop this evening, a spoon broke in his mouth. The little bowl-like portion broke off from the stick-like segment. And this aint no plastic spoon neither. I've never seen a metal spoon break before. He didn't pierce himself with the jagged remnants or anything, no injury. Funky though. That spoon was like "I'm so done with you people." and snap! it went to tableware heaven.
Glad you guys liked the poem. It's not so much about any subject as it is about word-play. Which is too bad, cause that's like a video game with glorious graphics and crummy gameplay. Who needs that? Shouldn't writing be about the meaning... Without depth of meaning and feeling, who cares how well the words get along?
Kato - Well of course I honored your request! I try to respond to all of you kind folks in kind.
A few days ago, I mentioned printing up a book of these blog entries once we reach Fairbanks. I was brainstorming for taglines on the cover, you know, like under the author's name - it usually mentions your recent bestseller. What do you guys think? Feel free to suggest your own, you guys are a lot smarter and funnier than yours truly:
Litany Webb -
- Haiti doesn't want her and Castro's afraid she'll take over.
- Now with great lymon taste
- Author of numerous parking pass forgeries
- Harvard doesn't want her and MENSA is afraid she'll take over
- Author of numerous twisted sexual fantasies
- Now with a third less calories
- The only girl who didn't cheat on her SAT
- With twice the ply's of the leading brand
- She bribed the law and the law run
- Now protected by the 5th Amendment
- Now with fresh lemon scent
I think there's like one good one in there, and most of them stink. Of course, I am most own worst critic.
Wait wait, I never told you how to minimize bug bites on one's ass: Be quick about it. That's all I can say. Unless you're willing to douse your derriere in DEET, which I am not, just be sure you are ready to go before you bare your butt. None of this "I could maybe go in fifteen minutes, I'll squat here and read a four-month-old magazine and deliberate." No.
Also, hitching your underpants to the side rather than actually Baring All will help save your precious cheeks from becoming unwilling blood-donor dinner.
Litany Webb, signing off
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posted by Litany @ 8:27 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I have a counter to your question "Without depth of meaning and feeling, who cares how well the words get along?" Words are written and spoken for a lot of reasons, and conveying a specifc point with them is only one such use. Take music for example. There are certainly plenty of songs that have a deep meaning to the lyrics, but there are also plenty that maybe don't make a whole lot of sense but they sound good. In hip hop, for instance, what you say is often not as important as how you say it (which is likely due in part to the strong emphasis on rhythm in rap music and the history of MC's battling to prove who is the better rhymer). Other than personal taste, there's nothing inherent in writing that says that one of these has more value than the other. Poetry, more so than prose, lends itself to exploring what one can do with the language beyond the actual meaning of the words. A great example of this is The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll which is replete with words he made up for the purpose of evoking fantastic imagery through the sound and rhyme of the words.
On a less serious note, here are some tag lines:
- A woman who isn't afraid to kick a dead body off an ice toilet to pee.
- Author of "The Poop Tent Follies" and "Where the wild things aren't".
- Now with 10% more 'flup'.
- "Chop-licking good" say Larry and Frank.
- Putting the "hoe" back in Prudhoe.
- All the girl bears wanna be like her and all the boy bears wanna eat her.
- Author of the action thriller "Who watched porn on my PC?"
- Fingerclicken Good!
Lol...right, like I could top you guys!
And yes, Kato, once again, amen my brotha :)
I have to admit, I was wondering what you had in mind when you wrote it, but too often when I wonder that about a song or poem and find out, I end up wishing I didn't know.
Hmm..tag line, tag line...maybe some people are meant to be witty and others are meant to laugh at them :) (That's not a tag line suggestion, by the way...heh)
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